HOUSEPLANT HOSPICE

Is Your Plant Dying?
It's Not Too Late.

Take the Plant Parent Personality Assessment and discover exactly why your houseplants keep dying — and what to do about it.

Secure payment · No credit card required to start

A majestic but slightly drooping Monstera plant in a tactile warm terracotta pot

Clinical Observation

You're a Plant Parent In Crisis.

Look. We need to talk. You've killed your last plant. The succulent that literally anyone can keep alive. The pothos. The fiddle leaf fig you spent $200 on because Pinterest told you to.

You're not a bad person. And there's help available.

Dr. Fern Greenfield, Plant Rescuer at Houseplant Hospice

MEET DR. FERN

At Houseplant Hospice,
We Don't Judge.

I've spent 15 years rescuing dying houseplants and the chronically green-thumb-challenged humans who love them. We diagnose, we treat, and we recover : together.

Your Recovery Plan

A clinical, structured intervention to rescue your houseplants and rehabilitate your green thumb.

Diagnostic Assessment

A comprehensive 60-minute self-guided evaluation to accurately diagnose your specific plant-killing patterns.

Personalized Recovery Plan

A custom treatment strategy crafted from your results to rehabilitate your habits and revive your household foliage.

Clinical Debrief Call

A 30-minute dedicated consultation with Dr. Fern to review your diagnosis and walk through the required interventions.

The Path Forward

A structured, sustainable methodology to ensure you stop killing plants forever and build a thriving indoor garden.

NOT ANOTHER COURSE

A Clinical Intervention

Generic courses tell you how much water a Monstera needs. They don't tell you why you keep panic-watering yours every time you feel stressed. We don't just treat the plant — we treat the parent.